In an unprecedented move, the NRL has announced that the Penrith Panthers have been stripped of their 2021, 2022, and 2023 premiership titles following the results of a secret year-long investigation.
According to the league’s statement, the probe uncovered “unusual player payments,” “suspiciously perfect vibes,” and even the use of a mysterious “winning formula” that no one else seemed able to crack.
“We had to act,” said an NRL spokesperson. “Three straight premierships with that much confidence and TikTok dancing? Something was off.”
Fans from rival clubs were quick to respond. Roosters, Eels, and Rabbitohs supporters flooded social media with memes, jokes, and celebratory videos. One Dragons fan outside NRL HQ was seen holding a sign that read: “Justice at last – now check the Storm again.”
Meanwhile, Penrith fans are demanding an appeal, claiming the investigation was just “jealousy in disguise.” Star players have yet to comment, although sources say Nathan Cleary was seen furiously deleting old TikToks.
While the titles may be gone, Panthers fans are holding on to the memories — and probably a few premiership tattoos they’ll now have to explain.
