For 18 months, Lane had been grappling with the dilemma of when to walk away from a footballing career that had been his lifelong dream. The Parramatta forward, who is working towards a masters degree in positive psychology, knew that the time was coming when he would be able to make a bigger contribution off the field than on it.
The seminal moment occurred in the most unlikely place. The Eels were belted 50-12 in Darwin in round six by a Canberra side that was as hot as the conditions at TIO Stadium.
By his own admission, Lane had a shocker – a personal and team performance that may have previously led to a period of despondency. While disappointed by the result, it gave him the clarity he had been seeking.
“I hated playing in Darwin every year because I’m a big bloke, it’s 100 per cent humidity and 30 degrees,” Lane said. “I knew that game was going to test my motivation and physical abilities. After that, I was like, ‘I’m done, I don’t think I’ve got it in me any more.’
“Although I didn’t enjoy playing in Darwin, I’m thankful for Darwin opening my eyes up and showing me: ‘There’s the door.’
“Although I played bad and the team was beaten by a fair margin, I wasn’t really upset. I was kind of understanding this was the end for me, I knew that it was going to be the right thing for me and the club. It wasn’t a bad moment, it was like, ‘OK, this is where we are at.’”
It was an undignified way to sign off on a fine career. That loss to the Raiders was Lane’s 186th and last NRL appearance across four clubs, the Bulldogs, Warriors, Sea Eagles and Eels. In his pomp, during Parramatta’s run to the 2022 grand final, he and Dylan Brown were such a formidable left-edge combination that there were calls for the back-rower to be called up for NSW and Australian duty.
While that honour ultimately eluded him, Lane hangs up his boots satisfied with what he has achieved.
“I’m pretty happy with how it all worked out,” said Lane, who has retired despite being contracted until the end of 2026. “As a kid you dream of just being able to play one game in the NRL, and I managed almost 200.
“I’ve definitely no complaints there. I’ve got plenty of good memories I can carry for all my life.”Some footballers struggle to make the transition into life after football. Lane has been preparing for that moment for years. Already armed with a bachelor of health sciences degree and a graduate diploma in psychology, he and brother Brett have just opened Pro Era Performance, a firm that focuses on psychological and physical wellbeing for athletes. The 30-year-old also remains involved with the Eels, mentoring the elite pathways and NRLW athletes in the areas of mental skills and wellness.
With all that to look forward to, it was a struggle for Lane to remain hungry during the final stages of his footballing career.
“In terms of losing motivation, I felt football was getting in the way of me doing other things in my life that I actually enjoyed more,” he said.
“I wouldn’t say I was depressed or anything like that, but there are times when things happen in your career when you are down, you realise you have these unhelpful thought patterns …
“As with most people who decide to walk away from the game, they all confirm it’s the same thing; you’re completely run down, you lose motivation to want to perform every week.
“Your body doesn’t recover in time for games every week any more. You roll up to game day and you’re still sore from the previous week and think, ‘How am I going to get through this?’
“Then you see your performances start dropping off. The expectations you put on yourself and hunger to succeed starts working against you.
“Suddenly it becomes deep frustration and a source of anxiety. You know you can’t live up to that any more because physically you’re just not up to it.”
In a bid to assist others, Lane is open about his own mental health struggles. Last year he launched a documentary, Out of My Lane. In it, Lane spoke about the moment he overheard his father Jeff, who suffered from a major depressive order for most of his life, talking on the phone about wanting to end his own life.
“If you look at the statistics around depression, it’s one in four people, and less for men, who have experienced an actual bout of depression in their life,” he said.
“It’s really serious stuff. The fact that I’m opening up and talking about it, as someone who is a role model and professional athlete that young men in particular look up to, hopefully I’m giving them validation that what they’ve gone through is ok and a safe thing to talk about.
“They won’t be scrutinised for opening up about their own challenges. That’s the first step in reaching out and getting some help to get on top of the things you need to.
“And for people not going through things, it’s a common thing that other people are going through. If you’re out there ragging off 10 different blokes a week, one of them is probably going through something difficult in their life at that time. It’s not a hard thing to be kind to someone.”
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